grrrrrr

I just found out that my very least favorite person on campus is probably going to the party tomorrow night. I've been lucky enough not to have to see him hardly at all in the past year since we hooked up and he decided I must be a whore. If he comes, he will be bringing his girlfriend, who apparently to him was not whorish enough (even though he knew full well when we hooked up that I had slept with exactly two men in my entire life and hadn't kissed anyone in 2 1/2 years, and I didn't even have sex with him...I seriously doubt that she had as clean a record) and was more girlfriend material than I was. I would be perfectly happy to never see either of them again, and I've been lucky so far, considering that she is still in the program. They haven't been showing up to GSLIS things, though, because he made *quite* a bad record for himself (not just with me but with about four girls in about two months) and I imagine they like to avoid the GSLIS crowd as much as possible. He is a total and complete shithead. There is no better word for him. (Well, misogynist suits him, too.) But what it really boils down to is that he was the first guy (and so far the only guy) who has ever treated me like a whore. That's a bad thing to do to any girl, but especially if she's practically chaste. Just because I like sex doesn't mean I have it often (I have high standards so he should be flattered that I liked him well enough to hook up with him). And since he chose to treat me like a whore, he's got himself an enemy for life.

That party appearance, combined with the probable appearance of the guy I'm crazy about whom I told to have a nice life, along with the guy I went on a "date" with who has decided I must be obsessed with him or something (even though I was never even terribly interested--I was just trying to get over the first guy--plus, come on--he's a completely different person from me and totally incompatible) and so second guy doesn't even speak to me. It's all just grrrrrrrreeeeat. So why am I even going, you may ask? Because I have just as much a right, if not more of one, to be there. So there.

Fuckin' a.

But at least I wasn't the wrongdoer in any of the scenarios. I guess I can have some comfort in that. I would feel worse and even more uncomfortable if I was any one of the three (four) of them and ran into me.

Well, on a lighter note, today wasn't terribly bad, considering it's unofficial. I do find it rather disgusting that all these little twerps jump on the "corporate" bandwagon and turn out for this thing and make asses of themselves because some barowner wanted to rake in a shitload of cash. Thank God I went to Smith. But, anyway, it was a nice day and reminded me that we're only a couple of weeks away from spring. That's kind of surreal, actually. I had a great Bulgarian singing coaching and saw lots of nice people today in passing.

And, nothing can beat a Turkish tailgate party in the main library parking lot. That did happen after our gig last night. Strangely, today when our prof. was passing around readers' advisory books, I found that Codrescu (the author for whom we had the reception) wrote a book about the blood countess. Awesome. I must check it out. Plus, I get to have lunch with the author of The Historian next week. Cool beans.