why I like strangers

with candy.

I just saw the best episode ever, where Jerri is in the jazz band and "scats" and where Mr. Jellyneck (Paul Dinello) and Mr. Noblet (Stephen Colbert) are torturing their students by making them pose nude in front of their classes or by drawing their private parts on the chalkboard. Mr. Noblet tells one of them: "Oh my God. Is that what yours looks like? Sit down! Ugh. Somebody else give it a shot. Who's got a pretty one? Suzie, you look clean. Come on up here."

I by accident saw the end of an episode of "America's Next Top Model," where someone said that one of the pictures looked like a squashed insect. As far as I can tell, all of the contenders look like squashed insects even when their images are not frozen in a picture. All of the contenders have smashed-in pig noses, bug eyes, and weird teeth. In fact, I was impressed that they were able to find so many people who looked like insects bulging from death all over the spectrum. Oh, well. I remember when I used to actually pay attention to super models back in the late '80s and early '90s and there was this one chick named Kristen-something, I think, who was almost ugly. She was a big deal, too. Hey, I found her! Kristen McMenamy. Here she is in all her glory (and yes, I think she's ugly):