on mlship and careers

I've decided temporarily (this week) to forego getting a master's in musicology right now in order to become a music librarian. After looking into it a bit and observing some interesting things around me, I think I need to have a penis to really succeed in the field. Since I don't have one, I'm going ahead and applying for jobs now and hoping to get the fuck out of here sometime soon.

I told a friend of mine this in the lab today, and he said, "You want to borrow my penis? My wife has absolutely no use for it, but sometimes she takes it out and shows it to me and says, 'Remember when this was yours?'"